CONTENT WARNING:
THE FOLLOWING PASSAGES AND PAINTINGS DISCUSS TRAUMATIC AND TRIGGERING TOPICS, SUCH AS SEXUAL ASSAULT, MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS, VIOLENCE, AND INFERTILITY. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CARE.
CAN’T YOU COPE? - An ongoing series of deeply vulnerable paintings, each depicting a different mental struggle I carry with me, and attempt to shake.
When finally re-embracing myself as an artist, I chose to accept part of my deep yearning to create stems from my desire to be known. I’ve always been quite shy, and I have never expected to feel that way. And so, it is not any desire for fame or just striving towards accolades that moves this, but instead the acceptance that my life experiences are equally as shocking as they are gut wrenching, and they are important. I believe I owe it to my younger self, who never got to grow up, whose life didn’t have to be so full of pain. While acknowledging I’m at risk of being incredibly self serving, I challenge you, dear viewer, to show me art that is not. I also listen to more Morrissey than one should admit to, so blame the saddest man in England for making me feel comfortable enough to accept that to know me is to know my pain.
As I continue to add one painting at a time, I will continue effectively telling my life story, through my art.
DETACHED
Oil on 11×14 canvas panel.
Abstract self portrait reflecting my experience with coping with the many difficult effects of CPTSD, including suffering from derealization-depersonalization personality disorder.
OUT OF BODY
Oil on 11×14 canvas panel.
Figurative Abstract portrait, intended as a visual portrayal of feeling as though you no longer own your own body after experiencing sexual violence.
WHO AM I?
Oil on 7X20 canvas.
A Figurative Abstract portrait, displaying the struggle I have felt to decipher which traits are really mine, and which I have developed in response to unfathomable pain.
TROUBLE LOVES ME
Oil on 18X24 canvas.
This heavily textured portrait came from a feeling I have never shook, the heavy, swampiness, of feeling like past traumas are inescapable and there is only more to come.
FAULTY
Oil on 5X7 canvas.
This textured abstract portrait inspired by a uterus, was created with such textures and colors as it reflects my struggle to cope with my inability to carry children, due to a violent assault.